She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
