so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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