He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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