My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
