Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
