You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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