I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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