i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
