The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
