i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
