I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My breath smells like gin and sadness
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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