Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
