Where did you get a picture of my penis
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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