im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
