Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
