You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think I won the penis lottery.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I love you. Go after that dick
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
