i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
