I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
