I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
