3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
