Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
