Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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