You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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