Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
