On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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