you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
