The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
