Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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