he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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