Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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