I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
