Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
