Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
