Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
