I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I will be naked everywhere
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
