You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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