i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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