Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I lost the right to judge tonight
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
