Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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