Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
