I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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