I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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