Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
