she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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