you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
