I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
