If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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