4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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