A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My ATM looks so different sober.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The adults are the big ones right?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
