tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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