My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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