Already got asked if we're dating
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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