I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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