Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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